Do we confuse emotion and love?

Mountains — what do they mean to you? Here, it has a lot to do with beauty, challenge and sport. Scientists tell us that they control the world’s weather patterns by creating wind movement that, in turn, creates ocean currents. In past centuries they were formidable obstacles to get around and scratch a living on. They often look like huge solid immovable blocks. However, if you’ve ever climbed one you’ll find that they are made up of rocks that are a mixture of unyielding strength and yet a fragility that demands a great deal of care.

I have a favourite mountain and it looms large at the end of our Vallée de la Clarée. I see it every morning as I walk Daisy our dog, and it is an ever-present reminder that we live high up in the Alps. Its name is Mount Thabor and no two days seem to be the same. The light, the cloud cover, the angle of the sun, the shadows, a morning fog, a storm — you name it, she looks different every day (yes, mountains are female in French). It’s like she has a wardrobe full of clothes and chooses something new to wear every day.

With all its nuances it never changes in shape or size. The clothes might be different, but the body remains the same.

Love is like this

Relationships go through all sorts of changes and stresses depending on the weather; however, love means the bond doesn’t change. Sometimes it is solid and strong and other times it can appear very fragile, but it is always there.

Sometimes you observe relationships that fall apart over ‘weather’ issues. The smallest things can cause stress on them but — and here’s the thing often missed — there is a world of difference between clothes and a body. I find it helpful to think of emotions like clothes and love being like the body. Both are needed. Clothes without a body have no purpose, and a body without clothes… well, least said! Now that I have reached 60 they are an essential item. Emotions can come and go very quickly but can soon become all-consuming. Some lost car keys, a misplaced telephone, a thrilling downhill ski run, an amazing meal. Mmmm — bring any memories? Emotions can go from 0 to 60 faster than a Lamborghini. Yet they are essential.

Do we confuse emotion and love?

Although emotions can be a powerful motivator and make a moment stunningly beautiful, like the weather around Mount Thabor, they change. Of course, like beautiful clothes, they are meant to. Unless you live with emotion your life will not have the colour it was created to have.

Love is different. It is not weather-dependent. It’s not meant to be. It has a stability and a staying power that must always undergird an emotion. What does it look like? How could we describe it? It is always patient, it is kind, it doesn’t envy, it’s not proud. It’s not self-seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, it trusts, it hopes and it always perseveres (some of you will have heard this list before and I claim no originality).* Emotion that isn’t underwritten by love won’t last and, worse, it can quickly lead to disaster.

Maybe look and see how much of your life is devoted to your body (love) and how much to clothes (emotions).

It’s hard to make clothes look good on a failing body.

* 1 Corinthians 13.